The Blame Game

Who ruined your day today?

When you were late to work, did you curse the bus driver in front of you? 

When you missed your project deadline, did you slam your slow computer?

How about that job you didn’t get?  Wasn’t it the fault of that dumb manager who couldn’t see how great you were?

And the argument with your spouse…wasn’t it because they are grumpy all the time?

The answer to all of these questions might be yes.  After all, there’s got to be a good reason why we, as perfect as we are, are plagued with all of these problems.

So we blame and point fingers at the objects of our frustrations, like the bus driver that wouldn’t be in front of us if we had left the house on time for work, or the slow computer that could have gotten our project finished on time, if we had started earlier or worked on it with fewer distractions.

And the fact that you didn’t do any research on the company you interviewed with could not have anything to do with the job rejection you received, right?  It’s obviously the fault of the annoyed-looking manager. He’s probably related to your grumpy spouse who was awake all night because of the sleep apnea you refuse to see a specialist about.

But perhaps none of these are to blame. Could it be possible that your day was ruined because of your own planning, or lack thereof?

A wise man once said that to BLAME is to B-LAME.  Blaming may make us feel better, but what does it do for the person on the other end of our pointed finger?  Blaming is lame because it hides the root cause of a problem and subjects the recipient of the blame to undue shame.  

Even if you’re blaming someone for a problem they caused, is it ever good to bring someone shame or spread word of their mistake to tarnish their name? 

People who blame are problem makers, not problem solvers. There’s far more honor in figuring out a solution and moving forward, than festering in a miserable state of blame.

So don’t cancel the big meeting when Peter forgets to buy toner.  Be that person who runs to Office Max to make copies of the proposal before the customer arrives. And bring Peter a donut while you’re out.  He feels bad enough.

Don’t play the Blame game. You’re too great to B-LAME.