Dinner with a side of racism

To the racist restaurant owner that disrespected my daughter and her friends, last weekend.

I saw the video. I saw the hatred in your eyes. I heard the evil flow from your heart. And I saw how much pride you took in being overtly racist.

That group of twenty-somethings that you spewed your venom on was comprised of college students and young black professionals. They came to your restaurant to celebrate a birthday. They were all dressed up and looking forward to a rare night out. And they were entitled to that.

When you served them food that was overdone and sub-par, they were entitled to let their server know that some of their food was inedible.  And, like any other customers, they were entitled to the good meal they came there to enjoy and to pay for.

Your server went away and sent over a manager, whom they politely asked for a bill adjustment, as some of their food was not consumable.  Your manager sighed and went away, without answer, and never returned. Then, half hour later, the server returned requesting full payment, and that’s when you came in.

You rushed upon their table, yelling and demanding that they get the (expletive) out of your restaurant.  And you screamed that phrase several times.  You told them that they wouldn’t know good food because they’ve never had it. You told them that all they’d ever eaten was McDonald’s. You screamed in their faces and threatened to call the police when they asked you to calm down and talk to them with respect. And all they had done, was ask a question!

And, during your tirade, when my daughter’s friend asked the server if you would actually call the police, the server responded, “No. He’s done this before.” But you were too busy screaming to even notice that.

But your guests noticed plenty. They noticed that you, not knowing my daughter or her friends, decided that they were not worthy of good food, good service or good treatment.  They noticed that you decided that they couldn’t possibly know what a good meal was.  They noticed that you determined that this group of young black people were not worthy to be your customers and not entitled to common decency.

But guess what? These young adults know their worth, they know who they are, and they know what they’re entitled to. And they’re going to eat anywhere they please.  They won’t be hindered by your attempts to make them feel inferior.  They won’t be stopped by your ignorance. They won’t be ruled by your hate. And their wallets will always be more than full enough to pay for any meal they order, anytime, anywhere.

So, Mr. Restaurant Owner, please know that your attempt to oppress them with your words, your actions, and your awful food, failed. But you did succeed in inspiring them to fight for what’s right, stand up to racism and tell everyone they know about their experience in your establishment. So, despite your attempts, you did not defeat their spirits, you did not scare them away.  And you are the only loser in this little game you play.

So, chew on that!

Follow me on lovingmiddleagedlife.com

So you want to write a book?

I often meet people who tell me that they’ve always wanted to write a book, or they’ve written one that they’ve always wanted to publish.

I used to be one of them.

I was one of the people that said “If only I had some spare time,” or “Maybe when the kids are grown,” or “If only I knew where to begin.”

I used to languish about, wishing the right time would come or something extraordinary would happen to push me along. Until one day…something did.

While lying in bed watching television with my kids, my daughter said to me, “Mommy. You should write a book about kids like us and call it The Cul de Sac Kids,” to which I replied, “People would be bored reading about spoiled kids like you. If I ever wrote a book, it would be about kids whose lives are really hard.” And that little thought stayed in my head.

Then one day, after watching re-runs of The Golden Girls and Everybody Loves Raymond for the 5,000th time, it occurred to me that I had just spent hours watching television, that I could’ve spent writing that book.

And the next day, after my fourth time scrolling through Facebook, I realized that I could’ve better spent that time researching how to write a book.

Each day that followed contained a moment when I wondered “Why did I waste my time doing that when I could’ve been writing a book?” And with no good answers, at the end of a week, I finally sat down to write. And l kept writing.

And writing was hard.

It was hard to miss out on things that everyone else was talking about.

I’ve never seen the episode of This is Us where the dad died, never watched Housewives of anywhere and I only know Cookie and Lucius from commercials. I don’t even know what game they played on Game of Thrones.

When I decided it was time to be a writer, I had to make sacrifices. And I had to sit down and be still.

I had to put down the remote and pick up the laptop, cease to procrastinate and start to create. I had stories to tell and I had to be intentional about it. And if you want to write a book, you must too.

Start weening yourself from your favorite shows and minimize your scrolling time. Recognize distractions for just what they are…things designed to keep you from reaching your goals.  Be disciplined, be determined and be still.

If that sounds hard, it’s because IT IS HARD!  But if I can do it, you can too.

Stop telling yourself “It was a long day. I deserve to just sit here on the couch all night.” Take time for self-care, but make those lazy days the exception and not the rule.  Your book is not going to write itself.

Why spend time watching shows made from other people’s writing, when they could be watching shows made from yours?

Yes, there will be things that go undone some days…sometimes for many days in a row. But if everyone in your family is full, healthy and content, then those things can wait for a while.

Yes, life is busy for all of us. Today is February 25th. My third book, Forgiveness is Free, was released on January 30th, and I just took down my Christmas tree last weekend because the dog was beginning to think it was real, and peed on it.  But my book is out!!!

You have a story to bring to life. Give birth to it. Stop streaming and start dreaming.

I can’t wait to read it!

2020- The Year of Forgiveness

Happy New Year!!!

2020 is here!  A time of new hope, new habits, new goals and, best of all, a time for new healing.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m ready! It’s time to do more than pump it up at the gym. It’s time to start a real movement. Something groundbreaking and earth shaking.  It’s time to release something long overdue.  It’s time for a forgiveness revolution!

Let unforgiveness out of your heart. Give yourself freedom from the weight of that hate.

So many things are broken in this world, isn’t it time we start fixing them? Make the Forgiveness Revolution your New Year’s Resolution and forgive someone today, before another decade slips away.

April’s new book Forgiveness Is Free, Why Are You Saving It, is available January 30th.

 

This Holiday, Give Forgiveness

The season of giving has begun!

It’s the time of year that brings out the best in us and prompts us to become the bearers of great hugs, great food and great presents.

And as you continue your giving, I challenge you to add a unique gift to your list….one that will bless both you and the receiver, far past the holiday season.  I challenge you to add the gift of “forgiveness.”

It wasn’t for sale on Black Friday because forgiveness is free. It can never be discounted or oversold.  It is one of life’s few treasures that are both free and priceless, at the same time.

And it’s one of the best kept gift secrets ever. You won’t find it on your loved ones’ shopping list because it’s a quiet longing, seldom expressed out loud. But the gift of forgiveness speaks volumes to the heart of the receiver.

And no shopping or shipping is required!

Forgiveness sits on the shelves of our hearts, always in stock, ready and waiting to be given to those we’ve withheld it from. It needs no gift wrap, no card and no special occasion. It just needs its holder to choose freedom from bitterness, open their heart and release it. And when they do, they’ll find that they benefited, as much as their beneficiary, because their heart will be lighter and their life will be brighter.

So, why not add forgiveness to your holiday list?

Spread some around to your family, your co-workers and the neighbor who put up their Christmas lights in August.

Give it to someone, drop the mic and walk away like you just started world peace. Because, in a great way, you just did.

April’s new book Forgiveness is Free. Why Are You Saving It? will be released in January 2020. Follow her blog for upcoming giveaways!